Life is a Party… An Analogy

I have been delinquent, again, in my blog posting, and here we are so close to the end! I am the chairperson for an HR conference next week, we are expecting 200 attendees and I have been plunged into the depth of conference planning, with no time to do anything, except walk Jack.

It is Saturday morning, 6:00AM, the day of the big party (I wish I could have slept later). I am slightly, and I mean very slightly, embarrassed by the excess that this evening will be. In my defense I wanted it to have all the things I love: my family, friends, singing, dancing, laughter and food. I don’t know how she did it, but McKenzie found a D.J./Karaoke/comedian who will be the entertainment, I am so excited!

I thought this would be a perfect day to post my “Life is a Party” analogy. I went to Google to see what other analogies were out there, I found “life is a river”, “life is a battlefield”, “life is like a video game”... obviously the younger generation is now getting involved in analogies. But my analogy about life has always been aligned with a good party:

Party preparation happens during the first quarter of our lives, this, for many, is often the best time of all. Everything is still ahead, so you have lots of time think about your theme, decide who you want to invite, what kind of music you want and what games will be played.

Let the party begin! When we get into our “adult” lives you can see what kind of party it is going to be by the type of people that are showing up. Everyone is young, for the most part, and ready to have fun. This is when some crazy things can happen, but that’s okay, there is plenty of time left and the craziness will be remembered later with fondness. This is also the part of the party where people begin to pair off, slipping into different rooms, not to be seen again until much later in the party. Some people leave all together.

Party in full swing! At this stage everyone at the party knows everyone else, there have been new faces introduced, which involves additional celebration. Unfortunately it is inevitabe and usually without explanation that someone very important to the party leaves. It isn’t their fault, but it has an impact that takes a while for partygoers to recover from. Fortunately most people are able to move on and enjoy who is left at their party. Of course there will be the inevitable tears and fights, but that is what gives the party its character.

Winding down…. One day you look up and see that most of the people have left the party; just a few close friends and family remain to help you debrief the whole affair. This is the part where everyone compares notes and hopefully says what a wonderful time they've had. At this point the party host is usually exhausted and ready to call it a day. She says goodbye to the people that have stayed till the end, slips into her soft cloths and drifts off, thinking about how grateful she is to have attended the party of her life.

Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend

I talked about this earlier in the year, our good, old dog Magic has been declining and today is the day that we will set him free from the pain, the blindness and misery that can happen to any of us after a life well lived. The story of how he came to be our dog is almost magic...

Marshall, our first dog, had passed way the summer of 1996 and in December of that year I decided a dog for Christmas would be brilliant! I called all over until I found affordable purebred lab puppies (no computer searches in those days). The puppies were in Isanti, far from me but close to my brother in-law where we would be spending Christmas. I called the breeder and he explained that there was only one left, the runt, and that someone was coming to look at him over the weekend.

Long story short, I convinced him that my family needed the dog much more than the random hunter who was coming to look at him and I promised that someone would be there by the end of the day with cash. Luckily my sister-in-law was game for this and on Christmas day the faces of the kids and Mark were priceless! That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

We knew right away he was an amazing dog, he learned everything so fast from potty training to hunting. One day he was laying on the floor looking at me with his ears all perked forward and I said, "Put your head down". BAM, he put his head down, now how did he know what that meant. He also instantly learned the army crawl, I don't know where he was able to use this, but he was sure good at it. He even brought Mark live ducks from the swamp that some other hunter had wounded and not found.

 

I took him to my office every day, he was the official greeter at world headquarters. Rochelle, who worked with me for 10 years, taught him to roll over, another trick he never forgot.. Thanks Rochelle! Everywhere he went people seemed to appreciate his gentle spirit and very, very shiny coat.

Our life together was better because Magic was our stabilizer. With teenagers, working parents and crazy schedules it was Magic we could all go to with our drama and our troubles. You just had to lay your head on his shoulder and you could feel the sadness or whatever ailed you begin to ease. Now it is our turn to ease his pain, Sam, Mckenzie, Mark and I will take good care of him on this final journey just as he has taken such good care of us.

We still have two dogs; Niles, the miniature greyhound, is the comedian, Jack the 105 lb black lab is, well, we still aren't sure, he is just Jack. But Magic lived up to his name, he really was magic.

Up, up and away....

The only way I seem to be able to find time to write the blog post is when I am absolutely captive, like I am now, flying to DC. No worries though because I am sitting in an exit isle, so I can help people get off after we crash AND this is a unique seat because it is a row of one. This is good for everyone on board so they don’t see/hear me jump when the wheels go up or we hit a patch of turbulence. I understand there are thunderstorms in DC… pray for me.

You may not realize this but it is butterfly season, so be on the lookout for monarchs, tiger, zebra and black swallowtails. When McKenzie was one year old I started a family tradition of looking for monarch caterpillars to bring home and watch turn into butterflies. Over the past 25 years we have had seasons with no caterpillars all the way up to 15. That was the year we brought home a milkweed with eggs on it.

Getting the caterpillar from baby to butterfly is a miraculous process. First you have to make sure you have fresh milk weeds for them to eat, we would just put them in a vase and hope they stayed on it. For about 2 weeks they eat and grow and poop.. You would be stunned by the volume these little buggers put out! Then one day they wander down to the underside of a leaf, settle in for a few hours and then bam, they make the chrysalis. It is a crazy wiggly, twisting dance that somehow turns into a light green jewel with gold specs around the top. Another 2 weeks go by, the chrysalis turns black, the butterfly emerges and we put them in garden.

This is one of my favorite memories with the kids and a tradition that was carried on this year by McKenzie (daughter). For those of you who haven’t seen her in real life I need to tell you she has the most amazing blue eyes and beautiful dark hair. She has also made the big move of buying a townhome, so it is appropriate that she started her own butterfly tradition.

Several weeks ago my sisters found a new kind of caterpillar in their garden; it was black and green, which they gave to McKenzie. She did some research, found out they eat parsley (really?) and set up her own butterfly sanctuary. Last week a most beautiful butterfly emerged, a black butterfly with blue markings- the perfect color combination in a butterfly and a young women both so ready to take their place in the world. I remember now that sometimes it is hard to let those butterflies go.

So You Think You Can Dance? Do You Even Want to Try??

As stated earlier in research on Google, I discovered that the way to slow down the passage of time was to do something different. This week I took that idea out for a spin, and although time flew by as always, my husband and I did enjoy learning the fox trot and the rumba.

I need to give a bit of background on our relationship. We met in 1981 and were married in 1984, which should have been enough time to discover that we are polar opposites. If you Google "love is blind" you will probably find reference to our union somewhere in the 21,000,000 results.

There were glaring signs that our life together would not be a peaceful journey. When I called my mom to tell her I was engaged, she asked, "to who?" After the minister, who had counseled us before our wedding, reviewed our personality test results he didn't seem to be able to articulate the results so he just said, "well, best of luck to you two."

To summarize some of the differences; he loves riding his Harley, I am lukewarm and only enjoy a shorter ride. I am actually having a t-shirt made that says, IF YOU CAN READ THIS I AM MORE THAN 45 MILES FROM HOME AND THE BITCH WOULDN'T COME WITH ME. (For those who don't know the original t-shirt said, IF YOU CAN READ THIS THE BITCH FELL OFF) Opps, I digress, He is Harley, I am Night Club, He is stay at home alone, I am let's have a bunch of people over, he says tomato, I say tomato, he says potato I say.. never mind, this doesn't work in print. Anyway, I believe I have made my point.

Through all our years together I try to gently introduce him to new and exciting experiences i.e. I drag him shuffling and scowling to what I think will be super fun things to do together. I found a coupon on Living Social for 4 dance classes and I bought it. There was no need to check with my dance partner because he wouldn't want to do it. So I had to present this great deal in exactly the right context.

"You know for my birthday, we are going to have a DJ?" Already suspicious he says..."Ya?" "Well, for my birthday present I want you to take a few dance lessons with me" He laughs and say, "ya.. right..." shakes his head and walks away. So, I say, "Great!! First lesson is next Thursday."

It would take too much time and be to difficult to relive the actual trip to the dance studio, some things are better kept private. Needless to say we did go and when it was time for class an amazing thing happened. A most beautiful 5'8" 120 lb, doe eyed, brunet, dance instructor lead my reluctant husband into the studio. She spent a lot of time practicing with him in particular, I think she may have seen him pacing in the lobby before class. Anyway, by the end of the hour he was happily fox trotting and rumbaing. Who knows, maybe next week I will get to dance with him!

Counting Down From 10!

I have noticed a pattern in the blogs I have posted.... First two months - 5 blogs posted, next two months - 3, next two -2, last month 1. Like so many things I start in my life with great gusto, the novelty wears a bit thin and the next thing you know the latest and greatest is on the shelf in the basement.

To avoid this from happening to the blog I am recommitting to this activity. After all, 10 short weeks from today with be October 10th and the journey will be complete. I have so much to do in 10 weeks and realize that most of what I had planned back in January may not be realized.

I will use this posting to help me restructure my goals:

1. The guitar is still tuned and sitting about 8' from my desk, that is as far as I have gotten. I don't believe I can master the instrument in 10 weeks. Instead of guitar mastery I have decided to start listening to Acoustic Sunset on Cities 97, close enough.

2. Still working on the yoga practice, my sister and I did a free week at a yoga center and I realize the only way I will attend yoga is through peer pressure. I am not sure where the love/resistance comes from with yoga, but I now know the only way I am going to class is if someone is there waiting for me.

3. Healthy eating is a bi-monthly activity.

Well, that was fairly easy and pain free! Now, onward to the rest of the journey!

What Is The Next Big Thing?

I am very lucky to be a morning person, I open my eyes and am grateful to be alive, for my family, for the view out my bedroom window, for the work I do and for, well, just for everything. ( The bad news is; this is as good as I feel all day) In the morning I can make up my mind to do anything, get in a good workout, or maybe pitch a new project to a client... all this happens before I even get out of bed, some might actually call it dreaming.

Some days this great morning feeling can take me all the way to the afternoon, but lately it keeps slipping away earlier and earlier. By nine o'clock this morning I was already tired of working. I found myself casting about, wondering what I should do next. I had recently heard about a new TV series called Love in the Wild, which I had been meaning to check out. Just my luck I found it on ON DEMAND! I grabbed a blanket (because the air conditioner is on) and climbed into my "TV"chair and slipped into a media coma.

Fortunately there was only one show available to watch, because it was pretty good and I would have sat through at least three. This is not the first day this has happened...... I am not content , I am tired of working (I know, who isn't?) I want to do something different or to have something different happen. I went to the Antiques Road Show this weekend (thank you Susan for the ticket!!) but none of my treasures were worth over $100. We did do the Feedback Booth, so maybe that will be on PBS and I will be discovered by a Hollywood director.. oh, I forgot, that doesn't happen to 50 year old women.

In an effort to find something different I Googled "what is the next big thing?". Turns out you have to be very careful when researching the next big thing, make sure you check the dates of what you are reading, I almost bought some Enron stock!

I did find a reliable source from the UK, The Future Place Blog, which listed the follow as the top two on some random list:

1.Behavioural economics
2.Biometrics (non-neuro, e.g. eye tracking)

I like the first one the best because I can fully relate.. I have behaviors, so I totally get that and I like economics because that generally means $$. I like the second one as well, I have recently heard several companies talking about Biometrics AND both 1 & 2 start with a letter "B". Who would like to start an enterprise with me called Behavioral Biometrics? BB with be our ticker symbol, we'll get us some angel investors, assemble a board of directors (some of your friends and some of mine) and build an empire. Let me know if you want in.

Okay, NOW Summer Has Arrived!

After 4 weeks of rain and cold this last week of June has finally decided to release some real summer weather to us winter weary Minnesotans. I love this time of year and so does my loyal trainer, Jack. He loves it because it is softball/baseball season and the park where we walk every day has 4 ball fields. This means nothing to me, but to Jack each walk is a quest for balls. The best we have done so far is 16 baseballs and 4 softballs.

Summer walks in the park are like stepping back in time. The smells of fresh cut grass, blooming clover and humid air that feels like a blanket brings me right back to the circle where all of us Kacher kids were raised alongside dozens of other families. We were in a new housing development that, just a year earlier, had been a cornfield. Maybe it is just me, but I am certain that being raised in the 60's was about as good as it could get. There were woods where we built tree forts, caught butterflies and played hide and seek. Every spring we went to the feed store and picked up a couple of baby ducks that would grow up and move into the pond behind our house.

One summer my friend Renee and I convinced our parents to let us rent horses and keep them in my backyard. I guess they agreed because it was cheaper than horse camp. One Saturday morning we were dropped off at Hanson's ranch about 10 miles from home, picked out two horses and headed back to the suburbs. For 7 amazing days we strolled around Bloomington on horses. We went to parks and jumped baseball benches, road to the beach, sold rides to little kids and at the end of the day, since we had no barn, we just tied them to the cloths line posts.

Anything was possible when you were a kid in the summer and maybe anything is possible when you are 50 in the summer as well. The temperature outside is over 100, I think I will grab my water wings and head to the beach... Oh wait, I have meeting tonight. Well, maybe tomorrow....